Is time the artist’s greatest enemy?

Stuart Bush Studio Blog, Is Time the artists greatest enemy?
@Stuart Bush, Response to the flux, oil on board
I dream of sitting in my dusty studio. I can smell the pungent scent of turpentine. I can see the photographs and sketches stuck on the wall. Devils Haircut, by Beck, plays in the background and newspapers, magazines and books litter the paint-covered floor.  I have a primed blank canvas on the easel, all ready to go. I sit, staring and reflecting on what to do next. I wonder shall I draw or paint today? I wish there was nowhere else l have to be.
I often only wish it was true; that I had nowhere else to be. The idea of being unbound by time feels like the ultimate emancipation.
Instead, as a committed parent, I am aware I need to collect the kids from school soon. Which leaves me a narrow window of time to get something made.  When I think about what my greatest enemy is as an artist, it is easy to look at a clock and say time. But is it really?
I remind myself of the recent trip to the National Gallery. The inspirational time l spent with Rembrandt and Rubens. Then I think about a walk through the countryside with my family when I took my camera and noticed the wildflowers. I remember the happy times I had on holiday with my family. I ask myself, was that wasted? Clearly not is the answer!
If time was abundant, I wouldn’t be scared of growing old. I would be like a zombie without the need to respond to life and art. I know that our lives are short and that time robs us of our essential things, like our loved ones. If time was abundant I don’t think I would feel the need to stand on the shoulder of giants. I won’t feel the need to respond to great art and make a mark before it’s too late.
With time ticking away, I want to make the most of it. Nothing of beauty, intellect or authentic merit comes from a stale imagination. I first need time to absorb life and let my imagination range freely.  You could say I am most creative when I am least productive and when I think about it, I certainly wouldn’t want it any other way.
I realise the journey is the reward; I will discover myself on the way. I will not be the same person, the progress will change me.  The outcome won’t be just a career or a lifetime of painting; the genuinely satisfying thing will be the gradual change in me over time.
Creativity is about connections, and connections are not made alone in a pristine white studio with no doorway to the outside world. My busy short life is full of ideas and profound questions.  Although I have often thought that time was my greatest enemy, I now realise if I had all the time in the world with no connection back to the reality of family life and the pressure of earning a living, I won’t have the motivation to leave a dent in the universe. I recognise that l will always continue to struggle to carve out time for myself to paint. However, I need it that way. Slivers of time help motivate me to get the work made.
Time isn’t the artist’s greatest enemy, it’s my motivator. Martha Truly-Curtin tells us that, “time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” While Zig Ziglar states that “People often complain about lack of time when lack of direction is the real problem”.
As I get older, I have noticed I need less sleep. I get up earlier and look forward to getting something done. I seek protection from interruptions to achieve my daily goals. One to two hours of writing, when the house is quiet, is pure bliss. Blocks of two to three hours to do focused painting day after day, week after week and l can see progress towards making that dent in the world.

What do I love about being an artist?

When your are afraid of something that usually means you should do it, Stuart Bush Studio Blog, What do I love about being an artist
Stuart Bush, When you are afraid of something that usually means you should do it, oil on canvas, 50 x 70 x 4 cm
I love what I do. I want to go to my studio every day and have a perfect day. On my perfect day I want to express something of significance. Once I am in my studio, my mind starts to make connections.  By fostering a studio practice with risk-taking and openness, I open an infinite space. Every painting l create opens a new conversation about, What if?
I like to stay open to the possibility of generating tension in my work. I don’t want to overthink what I am doing.  Words have never been a strong point of mine, so l stick with making art to express myself. Words about sincere motives and reasons might spoil my passion and inspiration. It takes more than a few words to simplify a lifetime of thoughts. I have realised that meaningful discoveries will come through my use of paint.
I see art as a co-creation of new possibilities. I believe we can all connect with something much bigger than our individuality through creativity. I have also discovered that by looking at art made by others, I have an opportunity to step into somebody else’s shoes and see between reality and subjectiveness. The work l view becomes an initiator of further ideas for myself and other viewers.
Through art, we can bridge realities, we access a higher level of capacities, where we can all grow together.
I believe man’s greatness comes from the quality of their culture. With a prominent, enriched culture comes an enhanced quality of relationships and conversations. I feel the responsibility and need to contribute to the remarkable, visual culture of art.

What I see in Tal R’s paintings

Stuart Bush Studio Blog Tal R Red House, What I see in Tal R's paintings
Tal R, House red, 2018 Oil on canvas, 200 x 147 cm 78 3/4 x 57 7/8 in, © Tal R Courtesy the artist and Victoria Miro, London/Venice
Tal R’s painting practice follows the traditions of oil painting.  The artist walks the streets in Copenhagen near where he lives and works, looking for people, places and objects that appeal to his curiosity.  He looks for the moment that he feels is slipping away and paints its soul in vibrant and colourful paintings that at times float into abstraction.
Tal’s passion and exhilaration for paint clearly materialises throughout his work.  In each painting, he is learning about the endless curiosities with life and paint.  I see the pictures like a window into the inquisitive thoughts that are bouncing around in his head.
When I look at Tal’s paintings I easily relate to the places.  I understand some of the references; but at the same time, I’m often confused.  Tal often adds an object into his painting that doesn’t sit right.  By placing this almost ‘foreign’ object where it doesn’t belong, his paintings work at getting an unanswerable question into one’s mind.  He calls it ‘leaving the viewer with a stone in their shoe.’

Related post: What I see in Tal R’s paintings

I cried because I love you - 'A Fortnight of Tears' exhibition review
Marcel Duchamp commented that “the creative act is not formed by the artist alone; the spectator brings the work in contact with the external world by deciphering and interpreting its inner qualifications and thus adds his contribution to the creative act.”
Stuart Bush Studio Blog, Tal R, Rosa Road, What I see in Tal R's paintings
Tal R, Rosa road, 2018, Oil on canvas with artist made frame, 102 x 121 cm 40 1/8 x 47 5/8 in, © Tal R Courtesy the artist and Victoria Miro, London/Venice
We each come to his painting with our own way of seeing the world and pick up on different points of interest. Tal’s artwork then becomes about the paint, the artist, the viewer and their baggage.  These four elements are what is so attractive about Tal’s paintings. Tal does what all good artist do, he makes it look so easy.
Tal describing how his practice works,  “How I do it before I do it is, I work with all these motives, like figures and drawings. Sometimes they lose their vitality.  Then I put them away.  Later they appear in new forms.  So it is like being in my head.”

Related post: What I see in Tal R’s paintings

What I have learnt from Alex Katz
“All of these places that I paint they mean something and they also mean nothing.  These are places I am very familiar with. I walk past them many times.  It makes it much more easy for me to rhyme in those places.  Although it is about places in Copenhagen, it could, in fact, be about anywhere.  If I grew up in another city, I would rhyme on those places.” Tal R
“It is like trying to grab a fish, and it slips out of your hand. You should catch it and feel it is yours.” Tal R
Tal’s work can’t be explained purely by understanding the subject.  The forms and references only appear to on the surface, rhyming with other footnotes that are possibly out of the picture.  The real subject matter is the formal qualities and paint.
Stuart Bush Studio Blog, Tal R, What I see in Tal R's paintings
Asger Jorn, Per Kirkeby, Tal RInstallation view, Victoria Miro Mayfair, 14 St George Street, London W1S 1FE23 January –23 March 2019© Tal R, Per Kirkeby and Donation Jorn, Silkeborg/ billedkunst.dk/ DACS 2019Courtesy the artists and Victoria Miro, London/Venice
Often Tal starts with an underneath layer of paint in a free-flowing thick impasto style. It is usually an intense colour in contrast with what goes on top.  The tones are often a little subdued, but they pulse and wobble due to the contrastive composition.  They dance for your eyes like a gymnast, filling you with hopefulness.

Related post: What I see in Tal R’s paintings

Kerry James Marshall, History of Painting
Tal doesn’t paint to give a complete account of the essential nature or direct likeness of an object. He goes for a ghostly like quality.  What is more critical to Tal is the success of those objects and colours as formal qualities in the painting.  He adjusts the flexible subject matter to create a visual harmony in their placement within the composition.  The intriguing forms and his unrefined strokes of oil paint encourage the object to float between figuration and abstraction.  This is the real subject matter.  It’s the skill of his image making that makes Tal R’s paintings a success.
Tal steps into a space where all good artist go, into a spacious creative area and into a painting where time disappears, where he is at one with his creative innocence. He loses himself in his work, like a child at play.  Pointing himself towards what he is interested in, and the work comes out unforced and without plotting.  Tal is in a place where he is allowed to be true and where no effort is required.  This creative space is a place where we all seek to go.
Tal R was born in Isreal in 1967 and moved to Denmark when he was young.  He studied at the Royale Academy in  Copenhagen, Denmark where he continues to live and work.  His work is currently on show at Victoria Miro Mayfair, in a group show titled, ‘Asger Jorn, Per Kirkeby, Tal R’ until 23rd March 2019.
Stuart Bush Studio Blog, Tal , What I see in Tal R's paintings
Asger Jorn, Per Kirkeby, Tal R Installation view, Victoria Miro Mayfair, 14 St George Street, London W1S 1FE23 January –23 March 2019© Tal R, Per Kirkeby and Donation Jorn, Silkeborg/ billedkunst.dk/ DACS 2019 Courtesy the artists and Victoria Miro, London/Venice

Related post: What I see in Tal R’s paintings

Isle D'Hollander - in and out of abstraction

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Tracey Emin, ‘A Fortnight of Tears,’ exhibition review

Stuart BuSh Studio Blog Tracey Emin
Tracey Emin, It was all too Much, 2018, Acrylic on canvas, 71 3/4 x 71 3/4 in. (182.3 x 182.3 cm)
© Tracey Emin. All rights reserved, DACS 2017. Photo © White Cube (Theo Christelis). Courtesy White Cube
Tracey Emin’s career was made on ‘My bed’ (1998) and ‘Everyone I have Ever Slept with 1963-1995’ (1995).  Other career highlights include Charles Saatchi’s ‘Sensations’ exhibition at the Royal Academy in 1997, her Turner Prize nominee in 1999, and her large retrospective at the Hayward Gallery in 2011.  Emin’s reputation has been founded on not only making upfront work and disclosures documenting her colourful life but also for her mastery and skill with a brush in her hand.  I went to her latest show at the White Cube in Bermondsey titled ‘A Fortnight of Tears,’ to see if Emin, now that she is 55 and a Royal Academician, is she still relying on shock and revelations about her undomesticated wild side or has she moved on to a new phase of mature work.
 
On entering the exhibition l was immediately reminded of the audience’s role in her work; the role of the voyeur in Emin’s authentic life.  However, in the first room, the experience started with an anticlimax.  The subject of her work was insomnia.  I realise insomnia is very debilitating and impactful on the suffering.  Nevertheless, I found the work lacking in her usual emotion strength and power.  But as l continued to walk along the corridor l delighted in seeing Emin’s signature style painting in full flow on the walls.

Related blog post; Tracey Emin, ‘A Fortnight of Tears,’ exhibition review

Anni Albers Weaves her Magic
 
Emin is back to her best and ferocious self as she explores the creation of mark making and slaps the brush on the canvas.  Her technical skill and creative energy are on show as she continues to bind her life experiences and artwork together. Bringing together subjects of love, her broken heart after the death of her mother, her abortion, guilt, and her mental and physical state on to the canvas.  Her paintings have the forcible lyric quality of a master at work.  
Stuart Bush Studio Blog, Tracey Emin
Tracey Emin, ‘A Fortnight of Tears’, White Cube Bermondsey, 6 February – 7 April 2019
© Tracey Emin. All rights reserved, DACS 2017. Photo © White Cube (Theo Christelis)
The love of painting is undeniably on show in the large rooms, which along with paintings and large bronze sculptures such as ‘When I sleep’ (2018), continue to show her untamed emotional strength when dealing with a life that has never been untroubled or straight forward.  In the painting, ‘And so it felt like this,’ (2018) Emin erases her complex history with broad brush marks, that nonetheless still creeps through her washes of paint.  An abundant spontaneity flows from her brush as she generalises form.  Which at the same time apprehends her mental state through her emphasis of pure emotion.
 

Related blog post; Tracey Emin, ‘A Fortnight of Tears,’ exhibition review

Kerry James Marshall, History of Painting
Emin is unafraid to portray what most people would be mortified to show.  She shows she has not lost her power to shock in the video in the auditorium titled, ‘How it feels,’ (1996).  In the video, Emin walks through the streets of London recounting the ordeal of giving birth to a foetus in a taxi in 1991.   It is a very direct and unsettling account of Emin describing and explaining the event and how she feels about not being able to have a child.  It was a shocking and excruciating experience, “I cried because I love you.” says Emin, highlighting her willingness to put everything on show for her artistic career.
 
As I watched the genuine and authentic account of Emin’s experiences, I wondered about her life.  How it is now, compared to how it might have been if she hadn’t realised that she needed to show her authentic life with her art.  If she hadn’t learnt to communicate her life experiences, love, joy, sorrow and anger in her art, her life would have been so very different. 
Stuart Bush Studio Blog, SOmetimes there is no reason
Tracey Emin, Sometimes There is No Reason, 2018, Acrylic on canvas, 48 1/16 x 48 1/4 in. (122 x 122.5 cm), © Tracey Emin. All rights reserved, DACS 2017. Photo © White Cube (Theo Christelis) Courtesy White Cube
Emin has always been greatly inspired by Egon Schiele. It is very easy to see their clear connection not only in her work in this exhibition but also their lives too. They both love the exploration of mark making in the craft of painting and drawing.  A gesture in the heat of the moment emphases a moment of time in their eventful lives. 

Related link; Tracey Emin, ‘A Fortnight of Tears,’

Tracey Emin - Hyperallergic
 
Although not all of the work is as powerful  Emin’s reality has crossed boundaries. I have never considered going so far and really putting my heart and life on the line like she has. As I am not willing to display my personal truths like she has. I think most people would be uncomfortable about doing so.   
 
However, as Neil Gaiman said “The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.”  I think to myself, “Is this what it takes to be a successful artist?”
Stuart Bush Studio Blog Tracey Emin
Tracey Emin, You Kept watching me, 2018, Acrylic on canvas, 48 3/16 x 60 1/16 in. (122.4 x 152.5 cm)
© Tracey Emin. All rights reserved, DACS 2017. Photo © White Cube (Theo Christelis) Courtesy White Cube

Related blog post; Tracey Emin, ‘A Fortnight of Tears,’ exhibition review

Ilse D'Hollander In and Out of Abstraction

The ultimate experience – Crashing Wave by Mary Heilmann

The ultimate experience - Crashing Wave, Mary Heilmann, Stuart Bush Studio Blog
©Mary Heilmann, Crashing Wave 2011 oil on canvas 127 x 101.60 cm, All rights are reversed by the artist
At the Whitechapel Gallery in 2016, many thoughts rushed through my mind the first time I saw the painting ‘Crashing Wave (2011)’ by Mary Heilmann.  As I looked at the painting it evoked a special moment.  I remember being out on my body board on Manly beach, Australia, at complete peace with my surroundings.  The air was crisp, and the sun was bright as I pitched forward. I kicked with my flippers while paddling hard with my hands as I took off down into a crystal clear barrel wave. I rode the perfect wave, a foaming mass of white water.  The ultimate experience!
 
It was a weird feeling being out in the sea, which strangely had surprising similarities to painting in a studio.  There is the same solitude in painting when you’re standing with a brush in front of a canvas.  You’re in apparently harmless water, but there is the feeling that if you’re not alert, like one wrong move at the peak of the wave, you could end up scrambling to stay on the surface. The consequence being that you could get thrown around and washed out. Mental and physically rejected back on the beach or in front of a failed canvas.

Related posts; The ultimate experience – Crashing Wave by Mary Heilmann

What I learnt from Alex Katz
Mary Heilmann’s unforgettable painting combines subject with spills and accidents, runs and washes, that are akin to nature.  Although Hellmann only witnessed surfing as a spectator sport, she has captured its impression in the surface energy of her painting. Using a geometric structure, Mary invites you to have an aesthetic experience.  A remarkable vibrant experience that is enthralling, leaving the feeling that reality has been refreshed.
 
Mary highlights the need to be at one with what you are doing.  One mistake and it’s over.  In both situations, you can spend a lot of time thinking and waiting for the right moment; the right wave or inspiration to get started. Hoping for the world to move through you. Undisturbed by turmoil and disorder.  Aiming for a placid stream of serenity where things come together in the stillness.  When you are in tune with that stillness, incline your mind towards a majestic moment.   Confronting the sharpness of life as you harness nature and ride the wave of an idea back to shore.

External related link

Mary Heilmann's biography - artnet.com

As Mary Heilmann says, “Each of my pictures can be seen as an autobiographical marker. A cue by which I evoke a moment from my past or my projected future. Each a charm to conjure a mental reality and to give it physical form.”

 
Mary Heilmann was born in 1940 in California. As a student, she trained as a ceramicist and a sculptor. After trying to complete in an all-male environment in both these fields she struggled to get any attention.   Then Heilmann decided to paint. She had her first show in New York in 1970 at the Whitney Museum of American Art after moving to New York in 1968.

Related posts;  The ultimate experience – Crashing Wave by Mary Heilmann

Understanding the 'Oak Tree' in conceptual art via Russian Politics

I love my work more than what it produces

I love my work more than what it produces
©Stuart Bush Hard to Concentrate, oil on board 30 x 40 x 3.5 cm
I am happiest when I realise that there is something to investigate, something that doesn’t quite fit.  I love the slow development of an idea.  The slow convergence of thoughts that often come after a period of incubation. l realise then that there is a problem worth tackling, a problem that is going to become my muse.  It is exciting to think that possibly, this concept hasn’t occurred to anyone else.  If it has occurred to someone before me, they will likely approached it in a completely different way.  I love my work more than what it produces.
 
I love going deeper, I just follow my hunch and allow it to unfold. When l am relaxed fresh insight and new connections will often present themselves. I enjoy being spontaneous and trying the different things that occur to me in the moment. Taking half formed concepts from other disciplines; taking them back to something simple and basic. Stripping away the layers of nature and making them new.

Related blog post; I love my work more than what it produces

I wish I could paint everyday
 
In doing so I have come to realise the significance of another type of time, so called idle time. I can’t explain it or the steps involved. But it’s time drawing, time photographing, time playing, time experimenting in my sketchbook and time idlily painting.  It isn’t time squandered.  It’s development time, where I take one step forward, two sides ways and often one backwards. Time that becomes something. 
Don't be afraid to make a mistake - Guardian newspaper
 
If I trusted that everything was already correct I wouldn’t discover anything new. So instead, l trust myself to challenge that previous knowledge and develop my ideas and connections. As a result l often find new exciting forms of representation.  No wonder I love my work more than what it produces.
 
Once the work is made however, I worry about having my ideas on show.  I am naturally shy and I don’t like being the centre of attention.  My creative work is never finished, I can’t wait to get back to my studio to play and exercise my signature strengths.  I thrive on the process of discovery and I want to paint something better than I did yesterday.  I have come to realise, I love (the development of) my work more than what it produces.  
 

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The art of being idle

It takes discipline to have creative freedom

Stuart Bush Studio Blog, It takes discipline to have creative freedom
©Stuart Bush, Empire state of mind, mixed media on canvas, 85 x 150cm
I crave for a life without physical, mental or financial constraints.  It has been my intention not to have limits on what I do, what I say or how I spend my time.  I want to make what I want, when I want.  One of the attractions of being an artist is the concept of free expression.  However, our culture, often wires us up to do what is safe and sensible.  In my experience, it takes discipline to have creative freedom.  
 
Commercial art is a good, sensible way of making a living from art.  It has a project outline, a list of do’s and don’ts and set deadlines. To get paid you need to do what is required. It ultimately has a boss saying, ‘you have to do this’, ‘this isn’t what the stakeholders are looking for,’ or ‘you need to make some changes’. But this isn’t the type of creative or artistic freedom I’m looking for.  

Related post; It takes discipline to have creative freedom

Ideas behind Empire State of Mind painting
 
There is nothing wrong with someone else choosing this occupation.  I’m not being judgemental in any way.  I am personally not good at being told what to do.  Especially when it comes to my creativity.  Life would be boring if everyone choose the same route.
 
For me, a different route was required. When I was looking at job opportunities it was important to me that I found something that gave me time off during the week.  If I had time off in the week, I could follow what I love without having to struggle for money or time. The job I chose isn’t creative or artistic, but it is something I thought I would enjoy. Nevertheless, l chose it mainly as a way to pay the bills and give my family and me a good quality of life.
 
I am not saying working full time isn’t a comprise, it is.  However, there are clear benefits to this approach.  During the week with the rest of the family occupied with school or work I can be creative in my studio, there no-one is cracking the whip.  No-one is telling me what to do. This is great, however, it creates another problem.  Deep down I know I don’t have to work too hard because I don’t need to break out of poverty.
 

Related post; It takes discipline to have creative freedom

What I struggle with as an artist
Over the years artists like Picasso, Matisse and Van Gogh unintentionally created a belief that to have freedom as an artist you need to be impoverished.  Picasso died in 1973 and this myth needs demystifying.  Things have changed drastically since then.  The world has become a different place since the internet.  Artists do a variety of different things to sustain a creative life alongside a family life.
 
I need to find ways to be more self-motivated. I don’t want to lose my direction and determination but at the moment my life style suits me.  If someone asked me if l would chose a job that is related to my art, but loose my creative freedom the answer is easy.  I want to be free to slay dragons.
 

Recommended link; 

Making a Mark - Blog
Yes, I have to work round everything else in my life.  Art has to come after family life, my job and hundreds of chores.  That’s fine. it just takes a bit of adjusting in order to create a balance.  I would love to do art instead of my full-time job. However, without money and life/work freedom, I won’t be able to work towards making the world a better place through my art.  Working to a brief of some kind would get in the way of my ideas.   
 
Everyone wants freedom.  As an artist I should do the things that I have to do in order to do the things I want to do.  I realise I am fortunate to have realised that it can take the opposite of freedom to have artistic freedom.  It takes self-control and direction if you want the benefits of being your own creative boss.  It takes willpower and self-mastery to be able to make what you want when you want.  To be able to prioritise my relationship with my creative work takes an unbelievable amount of discipline to have creative freedom. 
 

Related post; It takes discipline to have creative freedom

The benefits of Adversity

Why do I paint?

Stuart Bush, Untitled study, Why do I paint? Stuart Bush Studio Blog
©Stuart Bush, Untitled sketch book, oil on paper
The need to make sense of this world through painting began a long time ago. The oldest known cave paintings where more than 64,000 years ago.  Why do I paint? I feel a deep need to communicate something.  Something I can’t put into words.
 
Painting is my way of finding kindred spirits. When I look at art from the past, I realise I am not that dissimilar to my ancestors and painters of the past. Studying art from the past allows me to explore the many different ways that artists saw the world during their time.  It helps me to broaden my perspective and understanding and allows me to see how today’s art records the present moment that we live now.
 

Related post, Why do I paint?

A painting has to stand up by itself
 
Although many people see painting as being based on traditional values and having a limitation in its ability to address contemporary issues, I believe that art offers the challenge of finding new meanings. I see art as a way of creating new insight and uniquely capturing people’s imagination. However some might see this view of painting as naive and believe that nothing is truly original in this postmodern society.
 
But for me, other forms of communication cannot compare with the excitement of art. They don’t come close to allowing me the opportunity to look in detail at interesting and unexplained concepts.  As a painter I have unique relation to the world and I am interested in what I can discover through art. 
 

Related post, Why do I paint?

What it takes to paint something original
 
I find myself drawn to expressing an alternative views of life through my art.  I want to communicate what I see and explore what I can’t see.  A pencil or paint helps me to digest and reflex what is taking place. I make work about the things I think need interpreting and understanding.
Why do I paint? Stuart Bush Studio Blog
©Stuart Bush, Untitled study, oil paint on paper
Through painting, I have a chance to investigate something that is evasive, beyond what can be explained in words.  I continually ask myself what it is that I see. I try hard to identify what it is, as it continuously slips.  It is utterly instinctive and for me the process of painting is addictive.  I never get a chance to wonder what it would be like to do something other than painting because what l love about painting is that one can never undo the last mark.
 
“Art helps people express experiences that are too difficult to put into words.”

The Connection Between Art, Healing, and Public Health, by Heather L. Stuckey and Jeremy Nobel
 
I’m always hoping for improvement through my art.  However, I realise that grasping the frightening clarity of the world is unattainable. Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop me coming back to the easle to try again. But the question always arises; have l finished, do I risk spoiling it by continuing or do I start a new painting?  I love taking risks, as l try to unlock the world about me.
 
I have a deep down urge to try to master this form of expression which allows me to communicate my unique view. When I am painting I feel like I have found what I am here for. I get deep joy along with despair, anxiety and yet confidence. I feel more alive. 

Related post, Why do I paint?

7 lessons I have learnt about painting
 

Wishing for dyslexia

The Rush, Stuart Bush Studio Blog
©Stuart Bush The rush 2016 oil on canvas 50 x 70 cm – SOLD
I recently read a book by Malcolm Gladwell called David and Goliath. The theme of the book highlights how we are misled about the nature of our advantages and disadvantages.  Gladwell explains that it isn’t always correct that our disadvantages preventing us being successful in life.  “We have a definition in our heads of what an advantage is — and the definition isn’t right. And what happens as a result? It means that we make mistakes. It means that we misread battles between underdogs and giants. It means that we underestimate how much freedom there can be in what looks like a disadvantage.”
 
In chapter four, Gladwell starts with the question, ‘You won’t wish dyslexia on your child, or would you?.’ Gladwell explains that when you’re dyslexic to overcome reading and writing issues, dyslexics really have to work extremely hard. That extra effort to compensate for your disadvantages develops into new advantages.  Malcolm says, “If you take away the gift of reading, you give the gift of listening.”  In my case rather than listening I developed the gift of seeing.
 
While battling with comprehension as a dyslexic, I had to concentrate extremely hard. I learnt to look harder and more deeply while fighting to understand and comprehend what I was reading.

Related posts; Benefits of adversities – Wishing for dyslexia

The benefits of adversity
The usual strategy for learning to read is to be able to break down words and understand each syllable. Enabling the reader to form the words by saying the sounds. I was told by a psychologist when I completed a dyslexia test that I have learnt to memorise thousands of words whole.  For this strategy to work, I have developed an advanced visual memory to compensate for my weakness.  To me, this makes a lot of sense as I am not good with reading and spelling words I am less familiar with.
 
 
I believe that what Gladwell talked about in his book is very interesting. I think this idea broadens as Gladwell noted and is the reason why many dyslexics end up becoming artists. Through seeing and thinking thoroughly, they continue to struggle to understand the world.  Dyslexics are often resourceful individuals, and they continually look for a solution. Dyslexics develop and build an advanced visual memory, they start to notice what others ignore.  
 
This happens to me, I start to ask questions when I notice something I find interesting. I ask, has anyone else observed this?  If they have, surely they would have painted it or draw attention to it another way.  I continue looking around to see if anyone has in case I have overlooked it and missed it.  After a while, I began to trust that these things that I have noticed have probably been ignored.  
 

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Then I start the journey of processing these things of interest. Looking at them even more profoundly. I play with them in my head and in a sketchbook turning them into a variety of outcomes in order to see what works.  The hardest part is to look and see if I can turn it into successful artwork.  This is really what an artist’s role is, to think deeply about what hasn’t been noticed and draw attention to it.
 
Gladwell highlights this fact in the book, “An extraordinarily high number of entrepreneur are dyslexic about a third…There are two possible interpretations for this remarkable fact. One is that this extraordinary group of people triumphed in spite of their disability. That they are so smart and so creative, that nothing, not even a lifetime of struggling with reading could stop them. The second more intriguing possibility that they achieve in part because of the disorder.  That they learnt something in their struggle to be at an enormous advantage. Would you wish dyslexia on your child?”
 
George Bernard Shaw, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world,  The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore, all progress relies on the unreasonable man.”
 

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A section of ourselves as a commodified object

Stuart Bush Studio Blog, A section of ourselves as a commodified object, A section of ourselves as a commodified object
©Stuart Bush, A section of ourselves as a commodified object, oil on aluminium panel, 80 x 120cm
To achieve a successful painting like, ‘A section of ourselves as a commodified object’, I want to understand what it is I am really trying to make. I have a deep need to be creative and communicate something significant about what I see. I love painting, my ambition is to make the best painting I can make. For me, a transformative experience takes place at the level of the ordinary.  
 
When evaluating a picture, it is interesting to consider that the essences of the surface is a pattern of colours, lines, texture, forms and space.  Shape and form fit into the frame, as the structure of the painting creates a visual complexity.  I find a dynamic placement satisfying and enticing as it encourages eyes to follow a predetermined direction.  
 

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By turning figurative forms into a flat plane, I hope to make a visually engaging and attention holding painting.  I am also creating a comment about how the abstract figure in the history of art is turned into a sign or symbol for market value.  In effect, I recycle, reuse and take advantage of our human form and individuality for the commercialisation of the self and of our human identity. 
 
My focus isn’t on financial gain.  However, an artist, like everyone else, needs to make a living. I like the idea of art for art’s sake but a painting whether you like it or not turns into a commodity. As an artist, I live off what I make and of the form of others in my work.  
 

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I cannibalise the individual form into an image for commercial value. The commercialisation of the self and human identity de-humanises us. This is the reason why I paint a section of ourselves as a commodified object.

Compared to the various others ways to make a living this seems an honest and honourable one.  I am not saying there is anything wrong with making a living from art or any other form of making a living.  By trying to make the best painting I can, I wanted to look at this most fundamental part of the art.  Looking at the deal that follows.  The legacy of the history of art is its commercialisation.
 
I don’t have to sell my work, but there isn’t much point in making it unless other people see it. By getting to grips with all this, I hope to make the best painting I can make.
 

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I wish I could paint everyday